1 bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
God do I love cereal. I love cereal like Michael Phelps loves douche-baggy striped shirts. I usually keep two boxes of cereal at my place. One is healthy like Rice Chex. The other is for enjoyable snacking and dessert purposes, which is where Cinnamon Toast Crunch comes in. Sometimes, I want a nice, healthy start to my day. Other times, I crave 30 grams of sugar and 3,000 milligrams of coffee in the morning to wake up and go to work. Usually, it’s the latter and this is why I’m incoherent around three in the afternoon, after my body uses all the sugar from the morning for fuel.
1 cheddar cheeseburger with a side of fries
1 piece of corn bread
1 Arnold Palmer
I was originally supposed to go to Souplantation’s, but plans changed due to a co-worker’s going-away lunch. Joni I wish you the best of luck.
I work right across from Callendar’s Grill, a super-fancy version of Marie Callendar’s. What makes it so super-fancy, you ask? White tablecloths, waiters wearing black ties, black marble everywhere and a piano player right next to the all-you-can-eat salad bar. The effect is like Hugo from Lost wearing a tuxedo at the Emmys. Like the other bastion of American cooking, the Cheesecake Factory, Callendar’s shows quality by making all their meals really fucking big. My burger wasn’t great, but it was huge. And since my stomach was prepping for a buffet, that was all I wanted from my lunch. And fuck that apple on the plate. They could’ve put more fries where that apple was.
5773 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90036
1 slice of chocolate-strawberry cake
This was the goodbye cake Marcela made for Joni. It was awesome.
2 pieces of Starbursts
If I had to rate Starburst pieces from best to worst, it’d go pink, orange, red, yellow. I got one red and one yellow. Wow, does God hate me. But I traded my yellow one for an orange. Sa-weet.
1 nachos – shared
5 bottles of Coors Light
My plans were to go home, watch the debates, go to the gym, play Rock Band and write this post. By the time the debates started, I was still at work so I watched it here. Afterward my coworker asked if I wanted to go to trivia night. Fuck yeah, I wanted to go. I LOVE trivia competitions. I know a lot of random things that’s 97% useless to everyday living. It makes me feel better than everyone else knowing that I can rattle off the capitals of the former Soviet Baltic countries (Tallinn, Riga and Vilnius). I love any chance to actually use these factoids in public settings and seem smart to other people I don’t know. So Ryan, Joel, Tim and I formed a pub trivia team and headed to the Irish Times. We finished fourth. God, I’ve never felt so low before. It sucks knowing someone out there is smarter than you and can name the mountain in the southern hemisphere named after the Greek word for night. (Mt. Eruberus) while the best guess we can come up with is Kraka-fucking-toa. I don’t think the five Coors Light I drank helped either. My dream is to appear on Jeopardy, but I have to prove myself at a local pub-quiz night first. So consider this the beginning of my training.
3267 Motor Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90034