1 bagel with cream cheese
Thursday is free bagel day at E! It annoys me to no end that there are only 3-4 sesame bagels compared to 15 salt bagels. For the umpteenth time E!, no one likes salt bagels. Every week, at 11 am, there’s a leftover bag of salt bagels just waiting to be tossed by the janitors. Yet, they keep insisting on providing them in the hopes that employees will capitulate and eat salt bagels just because it’s there. It’s like watching NBC and getting inundated with ads for My Own Worst Enemy. Seeing Christian Slater 10 times while watching The Office motivates me to poke toothpicks in my eyes and not make an appointment to watch it on NBC’s “Must-see” lineup. So fuck salt bagels, and fuck Ben Silverman.
1 Chinese chicken salad
1 white-chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookie
1 can diet coke
I worked through lunch today. Sadness.
1 bag of Cheetos
Cheetos is extruded corn meal that looks like hamster pellets, deep-fried and coated in orange, cheese-flavored powdered cocaine. That is why it’s so damn addictive.
1 plate of Hamburger Helper made with ground turkey
2 cans of black cherry Diet Hanson’s soda
1 mini-mini mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwich from Trader Joe’s
Hamburger Helper! When was the last time anyone ate this? Actually, I had this several months ago. Abigail, bless her heart, likes to recreate family meals from the 1970’s and 1980’s. Manwiches will make an inevitable appearance on this blog. Like frozen dinners and cheap immigrant daycare, Hamburger Helpers was supposed to make it easier for families. Except it takes 45 minutes to make Hamburger Helpers. It’s essentially pasta and meat. But it takes less time, and ingredients, to cook just pasta, sauce and a jar of sauce. For Hamburger Helpers, after you brown the meat (not included in the box), you mix in pasta, water, milk and the powdered sauce packet, then let it simmer slowly like risotto. It’s definitely not more convenient. But that time is necessary to let the cheese-flavored powder soak through everything. Let’s face it, Hamburger Helper is good because the resulting sauce tastes like liquid Cheetos. With meat. It possibly can’t be good for you (we did use turkey and skim milk). But it’s tasty. I ate seconds.