1 bowl of vanilla-almond Special K
I finished the box this morning. I also realized my milk is two days past the expiration date. Eh, it’s nonfat and it doesn’t smell weird. I’m sure it’s OK.
1 blackened chicken caesar salad sandwich
1 bag of cheddar Sun Chips
1 can of cherry Coke Zero
1 white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookie
Ah Foodies, once again you have succeeded in keeping me inside the office today. To mix it up, I went for the chicken caesar salad sandwich. This one’s like a chicken caesar salad, except in sandwich form! As Johnny Utah would say, “Whoa…”
1 bag of Cheetos
1 can of diet Coke Zero
For some reason, I was really hungry an hour after lunch, so I HAD to eat this bag of Cheetos. I didn’t have a choice.
1 bowl of microwavable rice
10 pieces of cheddar Baked Lays chips
1 glass of water
I’m kinda embarrassed to admit this, but I don’t know how to use a rice cooker. I know, I’m Asian and I don’t know how to cook rice. Instead, I buy these microwavable bowls of rice from Asian supermarkets. They’re usually $1.50 each and take 1-2 minutes to cook. They’re so easy, I feel even less pressure to find a nice Korean wife to cook for me, despite my mom’s pleading. The convenience of microwavable rice allows me to date more white girls for the time being.
2 slices of wheat toast with Nutella
Nutella is the greatest condiment in the world. If you try to argue with me otherwise, I’ll punch you in the pancreas. Seriously, it’s chocolate and hazelnut that you can spread on anything. ANYTHING. Toast is good. Pound Cake is better. Same with biscuits. I once dipped bacon in there. Like the Tower of Babel, I was overambitious. But by God, it was worth it. I should keep a jar of this in my car in case I’m eating some boring shit while driving. I used to keep a bottle of Tapatio in my glove compartment for that purpose. Maybe I should keep Nutella in my car too. Although it is dangerous to dip a McDonald’s hot apple pie into Nutella and drive at the same time. There’s no way I can eat Nutella, drive and text message at the same time. I can only do two of those things at once.