I got laid off from Comcast recently. Conversely, David Zucker is going to be a new employee there soon. How this makes any sense, I have no idea. But I’m sure it’ll work out as well as programming Jay Leno five nights a week at 10 pm.
Now this won’t be a bitter Hollywood-insider blog written by a recluse who lives among 23 cats. No, this is a food-related blog, and I’m proud to announce that starting on Monday, November 23, after a 13-month break, EAT WITH JOE will make it’s return.
I have no reason for my long disappearance other than the fact that I got lazy. But now that I’m unemployed, I have to give myself something to do to not end up like John Wetteleland. I also think this blog will help with my goal of cooking more. Who knows, maybe I’ll discover some direction to my aimless life while I figure out how to make a bitchin’ boeuf bourguignon. Nora Ephron might even make a movie about my blog. That would be delightful.
OR, I’ll just think about cooking while I actually live off $1 menus and $5 foot-long subs and write about said cheap food and resulting bowel movements (You take away my $1 double cheeseburger, Burger King franchisees, and there will be unholy regicide). On a related note, McDonald’s* is bringing back the McRib on Nov. 30 after a three-year absence. Now the McRib is pretty gross. It’s random strands of protein bind together by some sort bbq-like sauce. In the underfunded Chicago public grade school I attended, we were served a poor McRib substitute three times a week. I’m pretty sure the sodium substitute in that thing led to unnaturally swollen facial glands that prevented me from reaching second base until the 7th grade. Nevertheless, I’m excited for the McRib’s impending arrival because this meat product hopelessly warped my tastebuds as a child and for that matter, my sense of nostalgia. It’ll be sold right after I polish off my Thanksgiving leftover. I think there’s going to be a really good poop story posted here on Dec. 1 as a result.
*I actually know the guy who plays Ronald McDonald at public functions and press events. We don’t call him Ronald McDonald, which is his clown name. His real name is Laffy Pants. Go figure.