1/2 box of Kraft white cheddar macaroni n’ cheese
1 can of Diet Coke
I actually don’t mind Kraft’s macaroni n’ cheese. Yes, the powder is violently orange (not in this case, it’s white cheddar) and the cheese powder is probably 20% sawdust. But out of all the instant mac n’ cheese on supermarket shelves, Kraft is one of the better ones, with some tanginess that could be mistaken for cheese flavors. I sometimes crave the orange, goo-ey mac n’ cheese typical of boxed varieties over the homemade casserole kind. Sometimes, I’ll make it from scratch and make my own cheese sauce. The secret to keeping the cheese sauce velvety is condensed milk. One day, I’ll make it, take pictures and write out the recipe. For now, I just have this one humble bowl of Kraft’s white cheddar mac n’ cheese to show you.
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf
1 medium vanilla ice blended
1 can of Diet Coke
Instant curry rice! A tell-tale sign that I’m a bachelor, and Asian. You see the meat in the picture? It doesn’t come in the sauce pack. I’m supposed to add it myself. Fuck. That. The point of instant food is not cooking outside of microwaving or boiling water (I also used microwaveable instant rice). That picture is unreasonably ambitious.
BTW, this post revealed that 70% of all food bloggers are Asian. Interesting. Me writing this food blog is really no different than owning a Honda Civic. I should add a spoiler to this site, turn it into a complete rice rocket. Consider that picture of Ottogi instant curry the food-blog equivalent of a spoiler and ground effects.
1/2 pint of Ben N’ Jerry’s Phish food
I would’ve eaten the entire pint if I hadn’t seen the nutritional information. A quarter pint is 57% of your daily fat intake. Jesus Christ! I read this article stating that serving sizes are often inaccurate. It’s in fact, usually worse. Fuck. Me. Why do they serve ice cream in pints? It’s just small enough to polish off in one sitting, but too large for it to be reasonable for any human being. In my freshman year at USC, when the idea of stealing football coaches from Tennessee was only a pipe dream, they opened up the cafeteria until 11 p.m. and sold fried food and pints of Ben n’ Jerry. Since I no longer had parents to tell me what to eat, I ate either chicken nuggets or a pint of ice cream every night. Needless to say, I gained the freshman-15 (x3) in only two months and lost some good opportunities to get laid because I was a newfound fat ass who’s clothes didn’t fit him properly. When I went home for the holidays, my brother saw me sleeping and said, quote unquote, “holy crap, you look like a beached whale.” That’s why the Simpsons episode where Homer wears a muumuu resonates with me. I too have once felt the pain of struggling to get off a couch and using a broom to type (blogging was a lot harder back then). Anyway, pints are evil and dangerous. If you’re reading this as a college student, don’t do as I did and eat the whole thing. It’ll ruin your formative years for getting laid with hot college girls.
Speaking of hot girls at college, and USC in particular, I’d like to extend a warm Trojan welcome to Layla Kiffin.
On a serious note:
Tuesday’s 7.0 earthquake at Haiti caused a devastating impact on lives there. Here are four organizations that are accepting donations for relief:
– Wyclef Jean’s Yele Haiti