Feb. 22, 2010

22 Feb

10 am

1 bowl of Chocolate Cheerios

Chocolate Cheerios! In cereal parlance, Chocolate Cheerios is the equivalent of that upstanding Christian girl who, to retain her virginity for marriage, only takes it up the ass. Half of this cereal is the wholesome whole-grain goodness of regular Cheerios. You think you’re eating a healthy cereal that’s good for you, and according to the nutritional information, it is. Then you finish the bowl, look down at the milk, and see that it’s stained brown. And yet, you kinda enjoyed it. That, my friend, is Chocolate Cheerios, my new favorite cereal of the moment. Dang, Chocolate Cheerios, you a nasty one.

2 pm

Alcove Cafe & Bakery

blackened salmon sandwich

side salad

1 glass of iced tea

The horrible new HBO series How to Make It In America makes me want to punch a young person in the face. I’m 32 and not that old, and yet this show makes me feel cranky and senile. Paste Magazine parties! Models! Casual hookups with ex’s! Hey, we earn it by living in cramped apartments and barely affording food to eat. God, this show is so self-serving that even the virtues of being poor is handled in a smug manner. It’s like the other smug HBO show, Entourage, except without the insider-Hollywood feel and machinations. They just took the crappy parts of Entourage, plopped it in New York, and made a show out of it. Since The Sopranos, The Wire, Six Feet Under and Sex and the City all ended around the same time, HBO’s only been pursuing buzz shows, in lieu of actual substance (Big Love being their one exception. And True Blood is entertaining, but that’s about it). How to Make It In America is that philosophy carried to it’s most ludicrous extreme.

Eating at the Alcove Cafe in Los Feliz reminds me of How to Make It In America in a sunny LA setting. In other words, it’s like Urth Cafe in Entourage without the Hollywood gossip. There really is no better place to go to get a perfect sample size of young Los Feliz/Silver Lake types who are questionably employed. There are quite a bit of tattoos, skinny pants and sunglasses to wade through. Most of the dining space is outdoors, in an actual garden setting, with old mismatched furniture. It’s all carefully calibrated, but Alcove does feel properly bohemian. On a sunny day, there really is no better place to idle away an LA afternoon. Except on weekends, when everyone has the same idea and the ordeal in landing a tables is a pain in the ass.

With the idealistic settings and atmosphere, food was always an afterthought. They revamp their menu occasionally, but everything is still bland, overpriced and massively portioned.  I usually get breakfast here, but opted for the lunch special, which was the blackened salmon sandwich. It was probably the blandest blackened salmon I’ve ever ate. For a dish that’s supposed to be crusted with spices and charred, I don’t know how it’s possible for this it be a black hole of flavor. Yet they topped the sandwich with half an avocado, which I brushed aside for the salad. So my food wasn’t good, but it really didn’t matter when it was a balmy 70 degrees. There are a lot worse ways to spend a Monday afternoon.

7:30 pm

1 pan-friend chicken breast

side potato salad

1 can of Peter’s Brand Classic beer

Just because a beer is from Germany doesn’t make it good. Isn’t that right, Peter’s Brand Classic Dutch-style lager? In a more American analogy, if Pabst Blue Ribbon decided to be mimic Labatt’s, you get that shitty brand.


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