March 14, 2010

14 Mar

10 am

2 S’mores Pop Tarts

3 pm

Nature Food Expo

I think that human beings, as a whole, have evolved pretty far as a species. We’ve invented the printing press, TV and the internet, and we’ve also created porn for all of those mediums. But there are moments when you get to see humans unveil their base animal instincts. An entire convention center full of free samples is one such moment. The Nature Food Expo in Anaheim only had healthy and natural foods. None of it was particularly tasty. But try to keep a middle-age woman from getting that one bite of gluten-free cookie sample and BLOOD WILL BE DRAWN! Most people are decent and take one sample. But there are a few who carry multiple bags and intend to shovel items in bulk into every single bag. Those people are assholes. I did see one guy take an entire box of Happy Chips after the convention. He dropped it and chips spilled out onto the sidewalk. Those Happy Chips sure weren’t so happy, were they punk? YOU DESERVED RIDICULE FROM PEDESTRIANS, FAT ASS.

There were a lot of nuts, buns, granola and yogurt at this convention. You can say it was like Burning Man. There were no meat to be found, or gluten. For some reason, gluten is now public enemy no. 1, according to health food manufacturers. This strikes me as odd since gluten is the part of the grain where all nutrients and protein structure necessary for baking is located. How is it healthy to remove nutrients out of grain? And who enjoys chalky gluten-free baked goods? Oh right, because gluten is starch and carbohydrate, it’s bad for us. I know that about 1% of people are allergic to gluten. One of my close friends from college couldn’t process it. And I know that Jews can’t eat certain grains during Passover (except unleavened bread like matzah). Those are the only valid reasons to be gluten-free. But 1% of the world population and an annual holiday isn’t a big enough market to justify the hundreds of new gluten-free product I saw here. And this is not mentioning the new gluten-free bakery in LA (by way of New York) called Babycakes. This is a sign that gluten-free products are the next health fad. Wars were fought over grains in ancient history. Bob Geldof created Band Aid to get starving children in Africa grain for basic sustenance. Now we shouldn’t eat it because it’s bad for us? God, I hate the health-food industry sometimes. Maybe some ass cancer will set their priorities straight.

Oh, and speaking of greedy S.O.B.’s taking way more free stuff than they should, check out what I got:

An entire box of NuGo bars! There’s a chance that this blog might get really boring because my meals will get replaced by these meal-replacement protein bars for the next week or so.

5 pm

Cafe Tutu

2 Blue Moon beers

I ate one bite of a spinach-artichoke dip. It was the single worst thing I’ve ate at a restaurant in two years.

9 pm

1 bowl of rice

side of kimchee

water

1 mini-chocolate muffin

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