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April 10, 2010 – An Ode to Simpler Times Beer

10 Apr

2 pm

2 strawberry Pop Tarts

8:30 pm

Cafe Metropol

1/2 order of truffled mac n’ cheese

1/2 pound sirloin burger

side of fries

1 Diet Coke

Wurstkuche, the sausage (I’m talking about food here) emporium in downtown LA, now has an unbearable line every night. After waiting for 20 minutes, we gave up and walked a block to Cafe Metropol. I did take pictures of this place but it didn’t come out at all. Lighting here is primarily by candlelight, and unless you have a lens from NASA, a la Stanley Kubrick, who used such equipment to film candlelit scenes in “Barry Lyndon,” getting visuals is pointless. Still, the dark lighting, relaxed vibe and an actual live jazz band makes this a pretty decent casual date place. I wish the food was better though. All the dishes tended to be overly heavy, and my burger while tasty enough, had an odd texture. They do have a couple of interesting beer choices, so it’s good to duck in for a drink when you eventually tire of waiting outside Wurstkuche.

10 pm

8 cans of Simpler Time beer

handful of Trader Joe kettle corn

2 funfetti cupcakes

Ah, Simpler Times, aka Trader Joe’s cheap-ass beer. $3 for a six-pack. A slightly higher alcohol content than normal beers. This is beer tailor-made to get you shit-face ASAP. There’s barely any flavor in Simpler Times, so it’s very easy to down 6-8 cans before you have to piss. But it also doesn’t have the horrible aftertaste or godawful packaging that a truly cheap beer like, let’s say Blue Diamond, would have. No, Simpler Times is a semi-classier affair. I mean, it’s only sold at Trader Joe’s! Urban hipsters drink it. Although urban hipsters also wore trucker hats back in 2004, and that’s a dark moment in history America should try to bury. I think Simpler Times will have a little longer staying power than trucker hats though. My friend texted me the next day and wrote, “I got so drunk from that beer… I love it!” If that’s not an endorsement, then I don’t know what is.

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