9:30 am
2 slices of wheat toast with Nutella spread
1 glass of skim milk
1 glass of orange juice
On the back of a Nutella jar, the label says that Nutella with wheat toast, glass of milk and glass of orange juice is an example of a “tasty yet balanced breakfast.” So I followed the jar’s recommendation to a tee this morning. Do you know why? Because Nutella is AWESOME. It’s the greatest spread ever thought of by man. Peanut butter? Pfft. You get no quarters from me, George Washington Carver. Nutella 4 life! I will trust anything related to Nutella. If the jar said to eat it on wheat toast with milk and orange juice, that’s what I’m going to do. If it told me to empty out my savings and donate it to reach Operating Thetan Level V, I will also scam my mother out of her savings as well. And, wait, what’s that jar of Nutella? You want me to chase my family down with a fire ax? But they ran into the hedge maze! I might freeze to death in there. Besides, I have a novel to finish. Ah hell, who am I to question you, Nutella? Here’s Johnny!
1 pm
Joom Bangkok Cafe
split order of creamy ginger soup
beef green curry
side of white rice
side salad
hot tea
1 scoop of orange sorbet
My friend and former co-worker Robyn and I talked about eating here for a while, and today was the day we finally carried through with the plan. Everyone has a local Thai place they go to regularly, and this is her place. Joom is pleasant enough, the interior is sleek and the food is pleasing, if a bit too mild. I actually liked her dish of fried tofu in orange sauce the best (fried=good) “You can’t eat at Jitlada all the time,” she said, and that is true. I actually frequent a place called Pimai Thai more than any other Thai place, and that’s only because I can walk there. I can’t actually recommend Pimai for food though, and Joom is considerably better. So Robyn, your Thai place kicks my Thai place’s ass. You won this round!
7 pm
tuna melt
handful of pretzels
glass of water
8 pm
3 bottles of Harp’s Lagers
a lot of pretzels
My friend Ryan and I plowed through beers and three hours of TV on Thursday, which culminated in the season finale of Jersey Shores. Ryan actually thought Mike “The Situation’s” advice to Snooki was wise. “If a guy doesn’t like you, same as if a girl doesn’t like me, it’s called, ‘Fuck you,’ and there are so many other people out there.” “He’s right!” Ryan said. And just like that, we learned yet another life lesson from Jersey Shores. And then we promptly watched The Situation and Snooki make out 10 minutes later. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! On the surface, the coupling makes perfect sense. They’re both nuts, even by Jersey Shores standards. But actually watching it take place felt so wrong. It’s the same reaction I had when watching Heidi Montag on Good Morning America, post-surgery. Good God, I’m scared for humankind if they actually procreate. The rest of the episode was tame, like most goodbye episodes on reality shows. But it still gave us The Situation and Snooki making out, and Snooki dancing on the boardwalk for no sane reasons. God, I can’t take this show anymore. My brain’s going to explode from not being able to make sense of their behaviors. And yet, I will miss you Jersey Shores. You provided two months of excitement that was short and unforgettable. Ronnie was right, don’t fall in love at the Jersey Shores. But I did.
Eat With Joe 