1 medium coffee
whole 8″ inch pizza with pepperonis, mushroom and onions
4 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon
3 cans of Bud Light
handful of Ruffles potato chip with sour cream dip
DEAR GOD, THAT’S A LOT OF FOOD. Granted, all the food and alcohol listed above was consumed over a six-hour period. That’s not too inhuman, I guess. But I still felt like I was being force-fed for my fatty foie gras liver or something. My friend Adam got a pizza stone as a gift from his wife, and he therefore made each of his guests an individual 8″ pizza, complete with homemade crust. Fuck Domino’s new pizza recipe (Oh, you brushed garlic butter on your cardboard crust? I can lick an empty Papa John’s pizza box and get the same horrible taste) It’s a lot better to have a friend who can make a pizza from scratch.
We ate a copious amount of food while watching the NFL Divisional Playoff games on Saturday. You know why we ate and drank so much? Because all the games sucked. You’d think God would love Kurt Warner enough to make his team somewhat competitive against the Saints to keep us somewhat entertained. Instead, he gets knocked on his ass and out of the game en route to a 45-14 ass-whomping. It was just like that upcoming movie, “Legion.” Both the Cardinals-Saints game and that movie involve pious gentleman. And I’d rather shove an epee in my eye socket than watch either of them. Your God made me drink seven cans of cheep beer, Kurt Warner!
2 chicken nuggets
handful of french fries
Adam also owns a deep fryer. Where did he register for his wedding gifts? Shakey’s Pizza?
3 bottles of Bud Light
I’m going to post this Band of Horses song, which sums up the day, I guess.